My type

We all have a type, when it comes to the laws of attraction. I've known mine from a very young age. I like a dark and broody man. Not dark and broody to the point of a concerning mental disorder, but more so a man who is so deeply in love with a woman that it hurts and makes him a bit broody. The kind of man who looks at you and you just FEEL the intensity of his love. What I would do, to be loved like that. That is my type.

In my vast 34 years of life, I can't say I've met many men like that. And if I have, it wasn't someone who loved me like that. Most girls grow up with fairy tales in their head. Ideas and dreams of Prince Charming coming to save them. I'm a bit different.

For me it all started with him:

David Boreanaz, who played Angel on Buffy The Vampire Slayer. He's a vampire deeply in love with a vampire slayer. It's your typical Romeo & Juliet scenario. Forbidden love. But there was no stopping it. And the more they tried to fight their love for each other, the broodier it got. Not a perfect man, he had centuries of bloody baggage, but I'd have let him sink his fangs in my neck long ago. Love me with that intensity and I'm yours. Maybe not super healthy, but this isn't a counseling session. Ha.

Speaking of Romeo & Juliet, that brings me to my next guy:

Leonardo Dicaprio, who played Romeo Capulet. Talk about intense love. Romeo & Juliet is a classic story of teen love. It was quick, intense, and they made very irrational choices, which I do not recommend. But, as a teen, I loved Leo's intensity in this movie. I also loved it in Titanic too. Love a woman to the point I can feel it, and you're great in my book. It takes balls to show love like that. To take a chance and put it all out there, leaving yourself vulnerable. This I know all too well. I respect any man that does that, fictional or not.

Next brave fictional character up:

Ryan Gosling, who played Noah Calhoun in The Notebook. Sure it was just a summer romance... or was it? It always drives me nuts when there is a struggle for two couples to get their shit together, but that's what makes the struggle so worth it right? I guess. You hate seeing them with other people in the meantime, it's like... "WTF are you DOING?!" I hate watching people waste years screwing around, when you know damn well what the answer is. You can't ignore love/passion like that. It's there for a reason. It's so frustrating. it's so rare to feel something like that with a person, how could anyone ignore or doubt it when they have it. Oh well, it works out in the end. Someday I want to grow old with someone who loves me as passionately as Noah loved Allie. Someone who would love me, long after I could even remember who I was, let alone them. Someone who loved me intensely and unconditionally until the very end.

Speaking of couples who are aggravating as hell to watch:

John Krasinski, who played Jim Halpert on The Office. Oh Pam... you stupid, stupid girl. Roy was so obviously wrong for you. You've got a best friend, who's broody for you in all the right ways. He's silly, fun and LOVES to be around you! Everyone can see it! What's to question?! I love this couple. I love how much he loved Pam and the little thoughtful things he would do for her. Most girls don't need a lot of fancy or expensive things. Most girls just want to be thought of and made to feel special and loved. And Jim did that in little ways ALL the time. And he made her laugh constantly. I would settle for that lower level of brood. It's probably a healthier rate of brood. But I am a bit more intense myself. Too intense for most. I scare people because I don't play games. I'm very me and very bold about it.

Next up is one people will laugh at me for, but I'm not ashamed:

Robert Pattinson, who played Edward Cullen in The Twilight series. Was I team Edward or team Jake? I was team "What the hell do both of you see in Bella?!" Honestly, I would have killed for either of their broodiness to be aimed at me, but I'm team Edward, I guess. Vampires do it for me, guys. Jacob's broody seemed more poor me and juvenile. But, that comes with hurt feelings, so I get it. Edward also tried to push Bella away for her own good. I hate when they do that. Listen, if you dig someone and they dig you back, just stop fighting it and go all in. Leaps of faith are important in love. You need to just go all in and hope for the best. If it works out then you wasted no time. No regrets. The more you fight and hesitate and weigh options... the more resentment and uncertain feelings form on the other side. Unneeded drama. If you're going to love someone. Love them. Don't hold back.

While we're back on vampires (because it's clearly my thing):

Paul Wesley, who plays Stefan Salvatore in The Vampire Diaries. He loves a girl named, Elena. If I close my eyes and listen to him talk to her, it's almost like he's talking to me. It's the closest I've been to being passionately loved. Haha. Don't judge me. Just like Angel and Edward, Stefan has centuries of (Ripper) baggage. But that's the thing about soulful vampires... they FEEL on high. They reflect, regret, and try to make it right. They work harder to be better. They want to be better for themselves and the people they love. That's admirable. Even us humans have bad baggage. It's what we do each day to be better than we were yesterday, that matters. I'm getting off track here. I do want to also mention Damon. Did I like him and Elena together? No. It was always Stefan and Elena for me. But, I loved seeing Damon love her. I loved what it did for him. It encouraged him to be better and think about someone other than himself. And I loved him for that. So he gets a mention too. I like that broody, good man, honorable life living shit.

Next up is the boy who loved an alpha:

Josh Hutcherson who played Peeta Mellark in The Hunger Games. Most of the broody fictional males I adore are alpha's themselves. Peeta wasn't an alpha, but that didn't mean he was weak. He did what he could with what he had and fell for an alpha female, much like myself. He would have laid down his life for her. Love can make or break a person. The wrong kind of love makes you weak, but the right kind of love can make you so strong and selfless. That was the case with Peeta. Like with most of these men and their love stories, another man was in the mix and threatened whether they got the girl or not. Katniss originally loved Gale. And Gale was a totally great guy. He was always there for Katniss and her family, but he didn't fight for her. He wasn't as passionately in love with her as Peeta was. And in the end, that's what won her over. Alpha's draw people to them with their strong personalities. They don't NEED anyone... but they want someone who WANTS them so intensely, because they recognize how strong and special and wonderful they are. Peeta did that, Katniss felt that, and no matter how much Katniss cared for Gale, she didn't feel that from him and she needed to.

And to wrap up this blog:

Ricky Whittle, who plays Lincoln (Trikru) on The 100. Like Edward & Angel, Lincoln is an alpha male who deeply loves an alpha female. Octavia Blake (Skaikru) is a strong female who operated by her own compass, despite what others would tell her to do. She, like Lincoln, felt they did not belong anywhere. They found their home in one another. Another forbidden love, that despite their peoples resistance and forbiddance, they persevered and in turn pulled their two tribes together. Despite everything going on around them, despite what everyone told them was right/wrong, they trusted their hearts and the fierce feelings between them... and THEY showed the others the way. That is epic love. What they had was absolutely epic love. Something, in this life, most people never find.

That's the rub of it, isn't it. Love like this is rare. Most people never find it. Most people stay in subpar or even bad relationships because it is safe or familiar. I might not have grown up living in a fairy tale fog, wishing for a prince. But, I did grow up reading books and watching shows and movies where love like this exists. It put that idea in my head that love like this is possible and could be out there. So, is it out there? Is it something that strikes you like a lightening bolt? Or is it something that you can built on and grow? If a person loves you like you need, don't you feel it? Don't you just know with certainty every time they walk in the room or look at you? Love fades and grows with how you care for it, I know that. But if it's barely a smolder in the beginning... how could you ever expect it to blaze in such a powerful and important way. I guess it's possible, but probably doubtful. The question is, what do you do? Search the world for your fictional man, or stay safe, care for your flame, hope it grows and keeps you warm for the years to come?

At what point, do you close the book and put little girls, with their little girl dreams, to bed.

Good night.

Layney Lethal